Date: April 19, 2020 ()

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St. Thomas, The Apostle was nick-named Didymus, which means “the twin.” From this name “twin”, St. Thomas Aquinas offers us an interesting explanation: “Twin” could be taken from the apostle’s doubting. Indeed, one who doubts is mid-way between two opinions: while holding to one, he fears that the other might perhaps be true. Thus, the apostle’s mind was as a twin, struggling between two competing ideas - Had Christ risen, or was He dead? At least that’s the common idea we have about Thomas, He is otherwise known as the doubting Thomas.

Some people I met who came to know I live alone at the penthouse (the 4th floor of IC Building), asked me? “Do you mean, you live alone in that big old building?” they inquired. And the next thing they asked: Isn’t it creepy there? Did you hear sounds or the nuns riding up and down the elevator?

Yes! I did hear sounds but I also investigate. With the banging of doors in an empty room, physics did a lot of explanation and I thank God for science. It’s a big help in finding out between what is true and what is a myth. And as soon as the explanation satisfies the why’s and my queries, I can now live in peace.

There are so many mysteries we have to deal with our faith. Mysteries do not mean they are not real just because there are elements in them that do not qualify to human logic or logical categories - such as the miracle of catching fish at the single word of the Master, when all the expert fishermen could not make it for the whole night; the miracle of turning jars of water into wine at the wedding at Cana; and our recently celebrated rising to life again of the man Jesus after three days in the tomb.

St. Thomas could not readily believe it. It’s too good to be true. But, what could we expect from a man who always calculates and constantly asks questions to be accurate and precise? I remember the movie series “The Chosen.” The scene was about the wedding at Cana. The apostle Thomas was in charge of the food service. He had been calculating things to ensure everybody will be taken care of. In his reliable computation, given his past experience of successes, he was sure, the wine would be enough. But his was just a human calculation, and it failed him for the first. Where he failed, Jesus rescued him. Jesus rescued his reputation that is so valuable to Thomas.

Today’s gospel reading recounts the episode when Jesus appeared to His Apostles inside a locked room. It was Thomas’ moment now to clarify the things that He was told about - the Messiah is alive. In this particular scenario, we realize that Thomas did not change. He was still that same mathematical personality who inquires a lot on matters that need some explanation… In Caravaggio’s painting, Thomas was portrayed like he was counting Jesus’ wounds or measuring how deep was the cut; He dips his finger inside the wound to make sure it was not a “make up.”

But what looks like the most unbelieving is now the boldest in his profession of faith: My Lord and My God! The moment his scientific mind got an answer, that restless mind found peace. It made Thomas perhaps the most courageous for his bold investigation, but this boldness made him the most courageous too so as to be able to reach the remote corner of the then known world viz. India and China. A strong distinct community of Christians thrives in Malabar coast of India that descended from Thomas.

If St. Augustine has the restless heart, Thomas has the restless brain, but both found peace when they found the answers from the Lord Himself. Our searching is never futile because we know Jesus always has an answer! And Jesus Himself is the answer!